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2010-01-18T14:07:00.001-06:00

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The Creature of Powell Lake

2010-01-12T08:55:00.002-06:00

Tony reminded me of this story. You can't find it in the regular archives anymore so I thought I'd put it up here.

Local: Monster or myth?

Monday, October 31, 2005

2005

Monster or myth?

Tales of ‘Creature of Powell Lake’ persist

Animal some say was otter or blacktip shark remains a mystery

By S. Brady Calhoun

News Herald Writer 747-5075 / bcalhoun@pcnh.com

he thing that tried to attack Eric Padgett nearly a half-century ago still pops up from time to time. While the corpse of the 40-pound “sea creature” was found a few months after it stalked Padgett, the story has never died. Padgett, 58, chuckled recently when asked if he ever had been written about in The News Herald. “That old sea monster out there,” he said. As Halloween neared last week and monsters of all shapes and sizes prepared to poke out of the darkness, Padgett agreed to talk about the “Creature of Powell Lake” one more time. “I can remember it as plain as day,” Padgett said. “Just like yesterday.” He was 11 when the encounter happened. It was August 1958, and Padgett was learning how to slalom ski in the water near Camp Helen State Park. Back then, Camp Helen was a recreational area for employees of the Avondale Textile Mills of Sylacauga, Ala. Padgett’s father, Howard, worked at the mill and was driving the boat on Lake Powell that day. “He saw a head pop up in back of me,” Padgett said. The monster appeared to be chasing him. Padgett said his father whirled the boat around to get between Padgett and the creature and snatched the boy out of the water with one hand. Although the creature had not hurt anyone, Padgett said his father felt sure Padgett was in danger. “He said the head popped up, opened its mouth and was coming towards me,” Padgett said. “It could swim fairly fast.” Padgett did not get a glimpse of the sea creature until he was back in the boat.

“He was kind of a greasy black,” Padgett recalled.

His father and other boaters chased the creature around Lake Powell that day but could not catch it, Padgett said.

Then in February 1959, the carcass of a 4-foot long, 40-pound monster was discovered in “three feet of brackish water in Lattimer’s Bayou near Phillip’s inlet,” The News Herald reported. Writer David Chandler described the critter this way: It “had nostrils, ribs, and lungs, rounded flippers, a dorsal fin and an oversize jaw with three rows of teeth comparable in size and structure to a shark’s.”

No one could identify the strange creature, so the head was removed and sent to The Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C.

Contacted this month, an official with the Smithsonian said it would be nearly impossible to find out what happened to the specimen without knowing who had received the head almost 50 years ago. The official also giggled — frequently.

Luckily, The News Herald reported the Smithsonian’s findings more than once. Scientists said it was a blacktip shark, common to the area because the Gulf of Mexico flowed into Lake Powell at that time. But Padgett maintains that finding is as murky as a Florida pond.

“It had lungs. It was a mammal.” Padgett said. “It looked exactly like the picture.”

The picture to which he referred is a sketch of a Loch Ness Monster-esque critter printed with the original newspaper story on the discovery of the creature’s remains. Some believe that News Herald cartoonist Wally Reichert stressed visual energy over geographic or biological accuracy.

Mike Brim, St. Andrew Bay Environmental Study Team executive director, shook his head as he looked at the sketch recently.

“It’s got a very nice dorsal fin of a shark, the head of a brontosaurus, the front fins of a manatee and the tail of an alligator,” Brim said.

Padgett believes the beast that went after him was an otter. Otters used to come to Camp Helen and bark at picnickers, he said.

“I think it was one of those otters that got hit by a boat and that kind of deformed the back end of it,” Padgett said.

Padgett never saw the carcass, but he always has believed that the thing that washed ashore that day was the same creature that chased him.

Brim has faith in the Smithsonian.

“I have great confidence in the ability of the Smithsonian to tell a blacktip shark when they’re given one,” he said.

However, Brim did say the eyewitness accounts disagree with the findings.

“If Padgett said that the thing popped its head out of the water, that’s consistent with river otter,” Brim said. “A blacktip shark wouldn’t pop out of the water.”Brim suggested that since Padgett never saw the carcass of the creature, it is possible that there were two distinct animals at play in Lake Powell that year.

Brim discounted the possibility that the creature was an entirely new species. Earth’s oceans still hold some secrets but only in the few leagues where man has not ventured, he said.

“I’m sure there are (new) species in the abysmal depths of the ocean,” Brim said. But “only probably in the deepest parts of the ocean.”

Padgett was famous at school after the incident, but fame was fleeting, he said.

“When school started, one of the kids came up to me and wanted my autograph. That was the only time anyone has ever wanted my autograph,” Padgett said. “Except my wife to sign checks.”

After the initial brush with fame, Padgett’s life went back to normal. He joined the U.S. Air Force, then worked for the Panama City Beach Police Department until, finally, taking a job at Camp Helen State Park as assistant manager. The park maintains a small exhibit dedicated to the creature.

Padgett is now retired for health reasons.

Even after a monster from the deep tried to attack him, Padgett said he continued to play in the water. He eventually learned how to slalom and still returns to the lake when he is able.

“I go fishing out there sometimes,” he said.

I love it when a plan comes together

2010-01-08T13:41:00.000-06:00

A-Team Trailer - TheFilmStage.com from Clive Owen on Vimeo.

The best way to kill a zombie

2009-11-18T19:04:00.001-06:00

A good story

2009-11-05T10:03:00.000-06:00

A photo with President Barack Obama with a lightsaber

2009-09-29T16:23:00.003-05:00

Bwahahahbahahwa

2009-09-28T14:27:00.001-05:00

Magic

2009-08-14T21:04:00.000-05:00

Stop what you are doing right now and spend some time reading about magic. Errr MAGIC.

HERE.

King fish

2009-07-11T20:29:00.001-05:00

new album from Levon

2009-07-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

For Amber

2009-06-06T15:04:00.001-05:00

Who spends her evenings playing Super Mario Bros.

Han Solo PI = greatness

2009-06-05T19:11:00.000-05:00

Incredibly Important News

2009-06-04T07:12:00.004-05:00

The final issue of Planetary to ship in October. Read all about it here.

I'm back at work today.

2009-06-02T15:22:00.000-05:00

Murder

2009-05-23T12:36:00.001-05:00

Shocking

2009-05-20T10:11:00.000-05:00

Journalism and Star Trek

2009-05-15T10:00:00.002-05:00

This post over at CJR is pretty funny.

Yesterday’s rave review of the new Star Trek film referred to the “hateful Klingon Nero” (Take it to the bridge, page 9, Film & Music). Numerous readers got in touch to say how very wrong this was.

Read it here.

Letters from Spock

2009-05-14T19:48:00.004-05:00

The new Star Trek as you know by now gives us two Spocks. Old Spock who has lived out his life but traveled back in time to when young Spock is just beginning his career in Star Fleet. Now, it's true that the universe is altered pretty dramatically but aren't there some things will happen the exact same way to young Spock that they happened to Old Spock.

Yeah, I just got a nosebleed thinking about it. Still, if it were you wouldn't you send an e-mail every once in a while to give your younger self a heads up about some dangers.

Lets take a peek.

Old Spock: Dear Spock, hope you are doing well. Today the crew of the Enterprise will revive Kahn. Instead of doing that you should blow him out of an airlock. Don't talk back, trust me, it's better for everyone this way. Kill him. No, no, seriously do not, under any circumstances exile him to Ceti Alpha V.

A week later

Old Spock: Don't eat that ham sandwich today.

Two weeks after that
Old Spock: Jim will kiss Uhura today so you might want to do something about that.

A Month after that

Old Spock: Seriously, have you killed Kahn yet? It's really, really important.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Star Trek and Top Gun

2009-05-13T20:18:00.003-05:00

Anybody remember Top Gun? I'm a fan of 80's Tom Cruise. He did several of the same movie over and over again. Kind of like John Wayne and Rio Bravo. The Duke liked the plot of that movie so much he remade it twice, Once as El Dorado and once as Rio Lobo.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Tom Cruise. By the way we will get to Star Trek eventually, because it is Star Trek week here on Buckshot. During the 80s Tom Cruise made, I don't know, a half dozen of the movies that Roger Ebert dubbed The Tom Cruise movie.

Essentially, Cruise is a hotshot young professional, pilot, NASCAR driver, pool hustler and bartender. Cruise is all raw talent and nerve, a mixture of arrogance and talent.

But he's never the best that he can be because he needs an older guy to come along and guide him to his destiny and the love of a good woman.

The best of these is Days of Thunder, the NASCAR picture because it's got Robert Duval and Nicole Kidman in it. A close second is Top Gun. I know you know the plot already but in short Cruise is a rebel pilot who has daddy issues. He likes fast cars, fast planes and fast women. He's also the best damn pilot in the Navy.

There's a really iconic shot where Cruise rides his motorcycle next to the base and the F14s.

Cruise also has daddy issues because the Navy has always made it seem like his father, who was also a pilot, died an unheroic death.

That gets straightened out by Cruises' mentor in this exchange:

VIPER: Yeah, he did it right... Is that why you fly the way you do? Trying to prove something? Yeah your old man did it right. What I'm about to tell you is classified. It could end my career. We were in the worst dogfight I ever dreamed of. There were bogeys like fireflies all over the sky. His F-4 was hit, and he was wounded, but he could've made it back. He stayed in it, saved three planes before he bought it.
Maverick: How come I never heard that before?
Viper: Well that's not something the State Department tells dependents when the battle occurred over the wrong line on some map.

So in the new Star Trek movie (see I told you we'd get to Star Trek eventually) we're introduced to Jim T. Kirk a hotshot young genius who's a hotshot and the best there is at, well, everything, including bar fights and making out with green chicks.

There's an iconic scene where Kirk drives his motorcycle near the spaceships.

Kirk is also wounded by the heroic death of his father on the same day of birth.

That get's straightened out this way.

Christopher Pike: Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved 800 lives, including yours. I dare you to do better. Enlist in Starfleet.

IMDB trivia has this to say

To prepare for his role as Captain James Kirk, Chris Pine watched classic episodes and read encyclopedias about the Star Trek universe. However, his research was rudimentary, as he wanted his performance to be original and not an imitation of William Shatner. He based his performance on Tom Cruise's Maverick and Harrison Ford's Han Solo and Indiana Jones, heroes who Pine felt possessed the archetypal hero qualities Kirk has (humour, arrogance, decisiveness).

Oh, and one more thing.

That Navy Ship that Maverick served on in Top Gun: It was the USS Enterprise.

Man, I need a life.

Tomorrow on Star Trek week, Old Spock's letters to Young Spock.

STAR TREK SPOILERS

2009-05-12T21:23:00.003-05:00

Don't read this post if you haven't seen the new Star Trek.

OK

So, now my head is exploded. First of all, The new Star Trek movie exists in an alternate reality where time travel messed everything up. That means a couple of things.

First, the original series, the one with William Shatner in it still exists, all the movies still exists but they are in a completely separate universe. But, and this is a big but NOW, there is a completely different STAR TREK universe. In this new universe the phasers look more like guns, no one ever preaches to you about the meaning of the story or the lesson humanity needs to learn, SULU is an amazing swordsman and Chekov can't speak English.

Also, for some reason everybody needs sunglasses while on the bridge of the Enterprise because there are giant, bright lights everywhere.

The onion described it this way: Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as 'Fun, Watchable.'

Yeah, that about covered it.

Rogers called it ULTIMATE STAR TREK and that is as good a designation as any.

I loved it but my eyes melted at one point thinking about time travel.

As I was watching the movie I kept waiting for the moment where everything would return to normal. Where the crew would somehow change time so that the universe went back to Shatner land.

And that moment never happened.

HOLY CRAP, JJ ABRAMS just killed Star Trek.

This is exactly what John Byrne did to Superman in the 80's when he recreated him. All of sudden Superman was depowered and the superpets never existed. The world needs Beppo, the Supermonkey guys. It's important.

But what happens to Picard now? Is Picard never born?? Can this at least mean that Tasha Yar is never born because she sucks.

And all of DS9, Voyager and Enterprise can disappear too. DS9 especially because it's a crummy rip off of Babylon 5.

OK, that's enough for now.

Final Analysis: Great Movie, go see it now. But later you'll be a little depressed that there wasn't a comment on the current state of humanity. Without that it's not Star Trek, It's Star Wars without the force.

Tomorrow: why the Star Trek movie must be the remnants of someone's screenplay for Top Gun 2.

In Honor of Star Trek weekend

2009-05-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

Ball of confusion

2009-05-05T21:39:00.003-05:00

I'm doing the usual thing listening to music and scouring the Internet while the wife watches Sister Act II and studies for finals. I have a lot of soul music keyed up. That's what I've been in the mood for. The O'jays, The Delfonics, James Carr, Solomon Burke and what pops up, Ball of Confusion by the Temptations. Literally seconds before the nuns sing it in the movie.

Here are some songs that are getting me through lately.

Backstabbers The O'Jays.
Papa was a rolling stone, The Temptations
A whole lot of James Carr who has one of the best soul voices I've ever heard but the highlights include, The Dark End of the Street, Pouring Water on a Drowning Man and You've got my mind messed up.

Cry To Me, Solomon Burke

Across 110 Street by Bobby Womack

I am now watching the Sister Act II scene. And the circle is complete

Twitterific

2009-05-05T17:56:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so after a gentle nudge from my boss I am now twittering. It occurs to me that I have a weird job. Anywho, the twitter widget is at the bottom right of the page and you can follow me, if you know what that is and how to do it.

My first twitters follow

# Looking for pirates. It's a long story. I'll give you the link tomorrow.about 1 hour ago from web

# now I'm looking for firefox twitter aps. about 2 hours ago from web

# I watched Terminator last night. Clearly, twitter is the beginning of Sky Net. Eventually the machines grow tired of 140 characters and kill about 2 hours ago from web

# And I was the remote control in my house. Son, go change the channel. My Pa would say. Course, there was only three channels.about 2 hours ago from web

# I'm just saying I can remember when no one had cell phones because they were big and bulky and expensive.about 2 hours ago from web

# The question at the top says what are you doing? The answer, learning how to work twitter. God, I feel old.about 2 hours ago from web

Someone help this guy out

2009-05-01T10:13:00.000-05:00

His woman has done him wrong.

Mark Waid has better references than you

2009-04-30T07:07:00.000-05:00

For the comic geeks among us.

BM: You joined Crossgen around 2001, taking the reigns on a couple of titles and launching several new ones. What was that experience like?

MW: Like being first mate on the Pequod.

Read the rest of the interview here.

Clearly the Internets were invented for this purpose

2009-04-29T19:05:00.000-05:00

Ben Grimm Skiing. Catch a wave.

More GI Joe resolute

2009-04-25T14:23:00.002-05:00

Some background on the making of GI Joe Resolute by screenwriter Warren Ellis.

The people at Hasbro were actually remarkably supportive. And I did apologise after shouting at them those times. And they did give me one of those conversations that you never really expect to have when growing up:

HASBRO: No, Warren, you cannot wipe Beijing from the face of the earth.

The coolest thing

2009-04-22T11:18:00.001-05:00

The coolest thing I have seen lately is here.

Pulitzers

2009-04-20T15:58:00.002-05:00

The Pulitzers came out today. Surprisingly, I'm not on the list. The New Orleans Picayune was a finalist with the detective story every crime writer tries to do with every murder. It's much, much better than I'm making it sound.

You can read it here

I need to try this

2009-04-19T08:57:00.001-05:00

If it works in New York City I bet it will work in PC.

From The Times -

"Over the years, the shack has been home to a rogues’ gallery of cast-iron characters: Guy Passant of The Times, or “Putt-Putt,” for the way he seemed to be always on the move; Vinnie Lee of The Daily News, a big man whose appetite for a good story and Heinekens was the stuff of legend; and Patrick Doyle, a k a The Inspector because of his ability to suggest when questioning rank-and-file police officers that he was a police superior, without saying so outright.

“It’s Doyle from headquarters,” was one of his true, if misleading, ways to begin a conversation. In a suit and fedora, he showed up at crime scenes for The News looking like he belonged, just another detective with work to do. “He’d just walk right past the yellow tape,” said John Kifner, 67, who worked in the shack for The Times."

I'm gonna rent myself a house

2009-04-18T21:44:00.001-05:00

In the shade of the freeway

Thou Art Awesome

2009-04-16T18:24:00.001-05:00

And then sometimes

2009-04-16T06:57:00.001-05:00

Life works out pretty well. Britain's Got Talent craziness here.

Someone should always be around to feed me grapes too.

2009-04-15T08:01:00.003-05:00

On Saturday night The Ten Commandments came on at work and I was watching it. Yeah, yeah it's a tough job sometimes. Anyway, there is a scene early on where Charlton Heston, still a prince of Egypt, goes to see his step dad, Pharaoh. And two women prance around in front of Heston throwing rose petals at his feet. I think they were chanting something like, "Make way for the prince."

Brady: See, that's what my life should be like. Everywhere I go there should be people should be there to throw flowers at my feet.

Editor Person: Oh My God now I understand you completely. (Mimicks a lightbulb going off over her head.) This explains so, so much.

Brady: ... Surely you agree that I deserve it!

The worst Trek

2009-04-13T21:21:00.003-05:00

Topless Robot names the worst TNG episodes ever here.

I dunno that one where Worf was injured and wanted his (very young) son help him commit suicide was pretty awful and probably deserved to make the list. That one ended, as I recall, with Crusher remembering that Worf had two spines or some such nonsense.

Actually nevermind every episode of TNG was miles better than any episode of DS9.

Q: Picard wouldn't have hit me.
HAWK: I'm not Picard!

And while we're on the subject why wasn't there a Spenser for Hire spinoff called Hawk: SuperFly Street Hero.

You know every episode of HSFSH ends with Hawk about to get killed and then Spencer shows up and saves him.

Easter

2009-04-12T21:41:00.001-05:00

I like music

2009-04-11T21:55:00.002-05:00

But not like these guys like the Grateful Dead.

I mean if it were the Allman Brothers I could chat with you about which version of the band was the best. The first one of course when Duane was still alive. Or how Steve Earle should make more bluegrass albums or whatnot. But man, there's liking music and then there's obsessive compulsive disorder.

The New York Times has it here.

What the GI Joe movie should be

2009-04-03T09:59:00.002-05:00

But won't be. This one is kind of hard to watch. Or at least it was on my $10 monitor. Make it full screen and hang on.

The president feels it too

2009-04-02T19:06:00.001-05:00

"Last night he said he felt like he had just discovered David Axelrod was one of the Final Five, whatever that means."

The Battlestar Galactica finale made Obama sad. Or so says The Onion.

The Answer

2009-04-02T18:56:00.000-05:00

Newspapers are dying in this economy. Finally, someone has come up with the answer to save us all.

Last one I promise

2009-03-21T09:37:00.001-05:00

Sorry, I couldn't leave this batch of posts without including my main man.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the late great Waylon Jennings.

This just in

2009-03-21T09:31:00.001-05:00

Joe Cocker is still alive. I am shocked. I mean every image I've ever seen of the man he looked worse than Belushi. He even released an album in '07.

Anywho, I only know this song because it was the theme to the Wonder Years. Some of you are shouting, 'shut up you youngin'.'" The rest of you are going, 'The Wonder Years, what's that?'"

A short history of the BSG universe (SPOILERS)

2009-03-21T07:30:00.004-05:00

Here is a short history of the universe according to Battlestar Galactica.

Don't read any further if you haven't seen the finale.

2009 - You are here.
Anytime you are at a newspaper stand look for Ron Moore, Gauis Baltar and Caprica Six. Then ask yourself, 'Why am I at a newspaper stand when all this information is free online?'"

150,000 years ago - Admiral Adama leads the remnants of the colonies to a new planet (our planet) that is just getting started. The humans who live there are soooo old they don't even have their own language. They all sound like Maurice Chevalier.
Also, Starbuck performs every action the plot required and disappeared without a word of explanation. She was either a Dues Ex Machina or a Ghost in the Machine. You pick.

150,000 years before that - 5 Cylons manage to invent a bunch of other cylons and give them the ability to resurrect themselves making them functionally immortal. It's a good thing too, because their planet (which is not our planet even though they're calling it Earth) is about to be destroyed in a nuclear war.

Sometime before that - God creates humans. He gives them a heck of an imagination.

As for the finale, I liked it. I really, really liked it.

Once more with feeling

2009-03-20T09:20:00.001-05:00

This one is for Joe who never lets me forget that I am a Buffy fan. Hey Joe what's that behind you? Oh right, it's your 30s.

Also, a quick bit of love to the nitwits at 20th Century Fox who made this much harder than it should have been. Way to embrace the internets, fools.

Willie is in town

2009-03-19T09:04:00.003-05:00

~~He's playing Panama City Tonight.~~ Ummm he's sick and the show was postponed till October. Still, Seven Spanish Angels is maybe the best cowboy song ever.
We have a full fledged theme this week. Look for something spectacular tomorrow.

We seem to have hit a theme

2009-03-18T09:03:00.000-05:00

Funny how it requires very little writing on my part. My wife loves this song. Look for The Red Headed Stranger tomorrow.

He was just 18 proud and brave but a Yankee put him in his grave

2009-03-17T08:58:00.002-05:00

The greatest song of the last century? If not why not?

Meanwhile in the land of good music

2009-03-16T20:54:00.001-05:00

I was going to write this long post about Levon Helm and the sound of American music. But forget it, I'm old and tired and if you don't get it I probably can't explain it to you.

Shut up and learn something.

UGH

2009-03-11T17:25:00.002-05:00

This should probably go without saying. But Will.I.Am is not this generation's Bob Dylan. And anyone who makes that comparison deserves to have their product die and quick a death.

Bob Dylan wrote songs that mattered and were about important subjects and changed people's lives. And when I say he changed people's lives the people I mean include Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen and Brian Wilson.

His songs include the lonesome death of hattie carroll, we shall be released, master's of war, tangled up in blue, blowin' in the wind and like a rolling stone.

Will.I.Am is responsible for let's get retarded and my humps.

Dear Pepsi,

Are you SERIOUS?

Every rose has it's thorns

2009-03-11T15:59:00.002-05:00

Currently listening to Every Rose has it's thorns, the original hair metal ballad. Look, Poison sucks, but every crappy band/singer/artist usually has one great song in them. Don't believe me, how about this: Ice Ice Baby.

15 years later every one in my age group can recite you all the lyrics to that one. Also, someone please tell Kelly Clarkson that "My Life Would Suck Without You," is the worst song title since "Honky Tonk Badondakadonk."

And no, I have no Idea how to spell Badonkadonk. In the comment section below tell me of your most horrific band who gave you one great song.

That or your best concert experience. Mine was B.B. King in Washington D.C. He sat down the whole time and still sang and played better than everyone in today's top 100.

IKIRU

2009-03-09T12:39:00.002-05:00

There was a blog question about your favorite movie on one of the blogs I read. The forst one that came to mind was Ikiru. It's Akira Kurasawa's take on It's A Wonderful Life. The movie opens with Ikiru, a mid level bureacrat in postwar Japan learning that he's got a fatal illness. He does what many people would do in that situation, he drinks, he parties, he tries to reconcile with his grown son.

... And, ultimately he finds a purpose. I don't want to tell you more. I don't want to ruin it. Go buy it, you'll love it.

Who watches the Saturday morning Watchmen

2009-03-06T08:36:00.001-06:00

It is really, really disturbing. Watchmen Cartoon

Grandma roadtrip

2009-03-03T19:11:00.003-06:00

So a couple of months ago my grandmother showed up at my door at 8:15 a.m.

Grandma: Are you off today?

Brady: (long pause) uhhhh yes.

Grandma: I need you to take me to a funeral in Blakely.

Brady: (long pause) uhhhh ok.

Grandma needed me to drive because the funeral was in the afternoon and granddad didn't want her driving after dark. So, at about 11 a.m. we're off.

Brady: Umm do you know how to get to Blakely?
Grandma: Yes.

Turned out that the real answer to that question was I knew how to get to Blakely 20 years ago but now I'm not so sure.

We got to the Interstate and it became clear that she really wasn't sure which road to turn on. The road was near the Interstate and after asking the UPS guy at Subway for directions we found it.

Brady: Uhhh Grandma, when we get to Blakely do you know which funeral home to go to?
Grandma: There's only one funeral home in Blakely.

Actually there was only one funeral home in Blakely 20 years ago. We passed three funeral homes on the way into the city.

Luckily the helpful person at McDonalds told us which funeral home to go to. But when we got there grandma seemed confused. She pointed out that she didn't recognize the people who were going into the funeral home. I thought, oh dear is there really a funeral today? Does grandma really know these people? Is she having a senior moment that has now cost me my day off?

Then, the people she knew arrived and it was all good. Well as good as things were going to get at a funeral.

I really didn't know the woman, other than I was somehow related to her and she used to be Ted Turner's girlfriend.

Still in the car Grandma told me stories. She pointed out a church where the members erected a sign that says that only church members could be buried in their cemetery. Apparently, years ago someone wanted to bury a child who was not the right color and there was a fight. And now, there is a sign.

She also talked about her most memorable birthday. She was a teenager and it was her birthday and the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.

That's right kids my grandmother and Vito Corleone share a birthday. Which confirms some theories I've had about my family connections to The Family.

Fear the Dixie Mafia.

The wine was sour so I threw it out

2009-03-02T08:19:00.004-06:00

Watching The Agony and the Ecstacy. It's about Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. It is quite quite good. It's about the struggle of the artist to remain true to his craft even when idiots and bullies and fools stand in the way. It was a movie I needed to see today.

The central struggle is Pope Julius II vs. Michelangelo. The pope wants the ceiling painted and wants it to be good and quick and cheap. Michelangelo tries to do this but discovers that the wine is sour.
So, he throws paint on everything and runs away. While away he has a vision from God, comes back to the pope, who wants to hang him, and tells him how it's gonna be. Which leads to this exchange.

Soldier: That's not what you wanted.
Pope: No, I wanted a ceiling. He wants a miracle.

Heh ...

Here's what wikipedia has to say: The composition eventually contained over 300 figures and had at its center nine episodes from the Book of Genesis, divided into three groups: God's Creation of the Earth; God's Creation of Humankind and their fall from God's grace; and lastly, the state of Humanity as represented by Noah and his family. On the pendentives supporting the ceiling are painted twelve men and women who prophesied the coming of the Jesus. They are seven prophets of Israel and five Sibyls, prophetic women of the Classical world.

Pope: When will you make an end of it?
Michaelangelo: When it is finished!

Just go get a copy

2009-02-27T20:55:00.002-06:00

Ok, so like 4 people have asked me if they could borrow a copy of Watchmen. The thing is I dog eared my copy and sold it to some dude in India during the great purge. And, and I can't tell you how annoying it is that all these people have come late to the party. I mean, remember when you were in high school and you found that band and you loved them and you were there first. And then they ruined it by getting super famous and everyone around you was like, 'hey have you heard of these guys."
And your like, "yeah loser I heard of them last year and I got their t-shirt and the vinyl."

It's kind of like that for me.
Also, Watchmen isn't something you can borrow. It's a serious in depth work that requires multiple reading to fully appreciate. You ain't gonna get it over the weekend, you know.

So, here are some Watchmen buying options. Do yourself a favor and go get a copy. And do me a favor and buy it here cause I could use the shiny nickel.

HARDCOVER

THE VERSION BRADY WANTS

For BSG fans only

2009-02-21T06:46:00.005-06:00

Last night when Baltar had his little problem I had a vision during the episode. It was Baltar grabbing a bunch of guns in secret and Adama catching him.
It went something like this:

Int. Galactica Weapons Storage locker. Baltar is grabbing a heap load of guns and ammunition while singing "Whistle While You Work." Adama walks in and they look at each other sideways.

BALTAR
Hi

ADAMA
Yo

(Adama turns to leave.)

BALTAR
Hey, wait a minute aren't you going to say something?

ADAMA
'Bout what?

BALTAR
I'm stealing guns!

ADAMA
Yeah, but the great thing about this show is if you kill anyone important we can retroactively make them a cylon and bring them back.

BALTAR
(Scooby voice)
ARROH?

ADAMA
I mean how long have we been on this wacky ship? 20 - 30 years. I just want to spend my days drinking hard liquor, reading poetry, sleeping with the president of the colonies and crying manly cries with my second in command.

BALTAR
But, but you can't trust me with a bunch of guns. I'm Gaius Baltar the betrayer of humanity. I'm responsible for the total annihilation of the colonies. I made a fake cylon detector that left us all in incredible danger and got you shot. I was the worst president in this or any other reality (well, maybe). Every time you ever handed me anything I turned it into a weapon and stabbed you in the back with it. Granted, lately I haven't done much beside lead a cult of mindless sycophants but I'm a very,very bad man.

ADAMA
Look, do you want the guns or not?

BALTAR
Yes, please.

ADAMA
Well, there you go.
(ADAMA walks out whistling "High Hopes.")

And that my friends would be less ridiculous than what happened last night when Baltar convinced ADAMA, ROSLIN and ADAMA Jr. to hand him and his clan a bunch of guns. That was the first misstep this season but boy was it a doozy.

On the other hand I loved Tigh's speech about not wanting to say he loved someone. Powerful, powerful stuff.

coolest mandolin player ever

2009-02-20T09:51:00.002-06:00

I wanted to embed the youtube video but some marketing genius somewhere thinks it's better to make things harder for fans.

Anyway, here's the link. Copperhead Road

Furious

2009-02-14T20:24:00.002-06:00

Watching Mystery Men. Had this conversation about Ben Stiller's character

Amber
What's his power?

Brady
He gets furious!

Amber
So he's like Nick Fury?

Brady
No,Nick Fury's power is to shoot you in the head.

Nick Fury rocks. Even Hasselhoff couldn't kill him.

And then there are these guys

2009-02-11T10:22:00.003-06:00

For whom no amount of money would be enough.

Take it away New York Times

Five hundred thousand dollars — the amount President Obama wants to set as the top pay for banking executives whose firms accept government bailout money — seems like a lot, and it is a lot. To many people in many places, it is a princely sum to live on. But in the neighborhoods of New York City and its suburban enclaves where successful bankers live, half a million a year can go very fast.

And this:

Few are playing sad cellos over the fate of such folk, especially since the collapse of the institutions they run has yielded untold financial pain. But in New York, where a new study from the Center for an Urban Future, a nonprofit research group in Manhattan, estimates it takes $123,322 to enjoy the same middle-class life as someone earning $50,000 in Houston, extricating oneself from steep bills can be difficult.

Cry me a river.

Money, Money, Money

2009-02-07T19:03:00.002-06:00

How much have you got saved? Yeah, I don't have anything either except that crummy 401k. But, these two links got me thinking.

This one shows you how much you can save over a given period.

This one shows you how much you need to save to make it to 1 MILLION DOLLARS.

Impossible? Mayhaps but what else have you got to do for the next 20 or 30 years?

Also, Brady highly recommends this site getrichslowly.org/blog/.

Go away now. I have much to ponder.

A dangerous criminal if ever I saw one

2009-02-06T19:37:00.002-06:00

This is such a long story.

Things heard in a newsroom

2009-02-06T12:30:00.002-06:00

“I have papers from the Challenger disaster and they’re falling apart.” Tony November 6, 2008

“You people are sick and twisted and I’m glad I know you.” Tony November 6, 2008

“You’ve got reflexes like a man who’s only had one heartattack.” Brady Calhoun… November 6, 2008

“[Brady], you are the biggest baby hater I know.” Melissa November 14, 2008

“There’s a Hello Kitty exclusively at Zales. That would be the equivalent of a Ghostbusters Rolex line.” nameless drone… December 4, 2008

“We might be glorifying the drug dealer.” My boss on “Southport man was found shot to death inside home” — which was the wrong headline anyway… December 11, 2008

“I don’t have the body of a stripper but… maybe someday.” Brady Calhoun… December 12, 2008

Payback

2009-02-05T18:15:00.006-06:00

So, for months I've been listening to Bill O'Reilly claim that the reason the New York Times, CBS, NBC and other news organizations are having trouble is because they lean left. And Clearly, CLEARLY, the American people don't want what the left has to offer. I mean, it's not like the American people just voted for a bunch of Democrats to run Washington or anything.

Anywho, all that silliness from Bill makes this headline even sweeter.

News Corp. loses $6.4 billion in 2Q

That would be the News Corp. that owns Fox News.

Heh. heh ha ha ha

Also, to Mr. Seth Godin, the insufferable "marketing guru" who gave us this bit of genius, "What will you miss about newspapers."

Umm you sir are asking the wrong question and predicting the wrong future.
Because a lot of newspaper companies are in trouble that means that NEWSPAPERS are in trouble.

Let me ask it another way

ABC, NBC and CBS are in trouble. What will you miss about television shows?

Penny dreadfuls are in trouble. What will you miss about books?

Even better - All the major automakers are in trouble. What will miss about cars?

Both of you twits need to go away.

This one's for Rob

2009-02-04T08:00:00.001-06:00

This is what you get for singing me that song over and over again. An explanation of this silliness is here.

G.I. Joe continued

2009-02-03T09:09:00.002-06:00

DAVID
Really? Really?

I saw the commercial and there was nothing cool about it. It looked like the X-men, only without super powers - and thus, not as cool.

When they shoot lasers, do you think they're going to kill people, or are they going to all just lie down unconscious?

BRADY
Snake Eyes Storm Shadow fight is all I require and the Baroness looks cool. PLUS SHUT UP I'm trying to sell some old comics. I'll be sure and sell them before the movie comes out and bombs.

Although I will agree that Stephen Sommers sucks and this could be as bad as Van Helsing but I am hopeful.

also, to be true to the spirit of GI JOE they would all have to lie down and be unconscious. STILL, this has got to be better than that crummy crummy transformers movie.

DAVID
Yeah, but why is Snake Eyes even hanging out with the GI Joe crew. He's all power walking with the whole gang down a street? I don't think so.

I didn't see the Baroness, but that's because I was occupied already. I'll check out the trailer again.

And ugh, Transformers - I saw the Transformers 2 trailer, and double ugh.

BRADY
OK yeah, I'm with you there. Ninjas should be sneaky not all out in the open. But he's a super ninja. He can be invisible even when people are looking at him.

DAVID
He's so invisible that he's visible.

Forget cable I have netflix

2009-02-02T19:33:00.000-06:00

I skipped the Superbowl. I didn't miss anything right? RIGHT?

Can I give you my $20 now?

2009-02-01T21:11:00.002-06:00

I mean seriously, I love this and want to give you my money now.

Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow sword fight. I don't need much else.

And the fact that I am talking up this trailer has nothing to do with the fact that I have a bunch of old G.I. Joe comics that I want to sell for 1 Million Dollars.

Love in the year of the comet

2009-01-27T19:50:00.002-06:00

Is one of my favorite stories.

I once saw Tony rip out Neil Gaiman's liver and eat it raw. Now, when you ask Neil how he's doing he just points at the rotten bandages and cries.

That is all.

How Long can Bully keep this up

2009-01-25T20:40:00.002-06:00

365 days with Ben Grimm day 25. How Long can Bully keep this up?

I had a dream

2009-01-24T16:07:00.003-06:00

I don't dream much or I don't remember much of them but this one stuck with me so I thought I would share.

I was dead and I was on the island from Lost. I don't exactly remember what was going on but yeah it was important and I was dead and I was on Lost island.

Then I was with one of my oldest friends in a limo because he had won $90 million in the Lottery. I was asking him for $5,000 to help me start a comic book company. But he wouldn't give it to me.

Later, another friend told me, "Of course he wouldn't give you $5,000 you were dead."

Then I woke up and said to myself, Self, that is the last time I eat a big sandwich from Firehouse, watch the season premiere of Lost and then go to bed.

MIcrosoft and irony

2009-01-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

So Today Microsoft announced that they are laying off 5,000 people. These are the headlines on my (microsoft provided) hotmail page.

Job Trends for Rough Times Careers to help you sail through a tough economy
13 Companies hiring now (Microsoft is presumbably not among them)
Careers for happy workers

Really, Really someone at Microsoft is laughing their butts off. Or laughing their blues away.

We all make mistakes, We don't all immortalize them

2009-01-21T19:33:00.004-06:00

Ok, so as you see from my last post I like the new president. I wish him well and hope that he turns the country around .... BUT there is a bit of craziness creeping into some of my brethren journalists who seem to have given up on objective journalism and have become cheerleaders. I mean, the reason why we all hate Fox News is because they abhor objectivity in favor of supporting THE RIGHT. However, it's hard to criticize them when some journalism overlord approves a headline like this - Obama Raises Hand Lifts Nation.

I think we can all agree that Obama the presidency is a unique moment in American history. I wouldn't want to diminish that and if the headline had been on an opinion piece I would have been with you brother. BUT this headline was on a hard news story.

So you would think that the day after it ran someone, somewhere would have gotten past Obamamania and reexamined ourselves for unbiased reporting. We would have asked hard questions about how we presented information and if we had gone just a tinsy bit too far.

At the very least we wouldn't have put the offending headline on a T-Shirt.

Right? Right?

Barack and roll

2009-01-19T19:57:00.004-06:00

Tomorrow some reviews and I hope to finish a short story this week. ...ummm maybe.

In the meantime, Congrats Mr. President

Of good guys and bad

2009-01-14T19:46:00.004-06:00

I really liked Appaloosa. It's way better than that horrid remake of 3:10 to Yuma at least. However, it suffers from one of the things that drive me crazy in movies, where the hero has the villian at his mercy and doesn't kill him even though you know that villian is gonna come right back and start more trouble. There are a couple of moments like that in the movie. It's made even worse because Jeremy Irons plays a great villian that you really really want to kill. It gets even worse for me when a judge orders Irons to be hanged and the deputies take him somewhere else to hang him. Which of course (spoiler) gives him a chance to escape.

I mean, come on, he's got a death sentence. Just shoot him in the head already.

I complain too much. This is a great movie that I really liked despite that flaw. 7 thumbs up.

* The previous headline on this post (Just Shoot him Already) was a little bit of problem given that it followed a bunch of pictures of the President. Oh well. Live and Learn.

I haven't read the book but hey it's probably alright.

The Spirit

2009-01-14T09:03:00.002-06:00

I haven't seen the movie or read much of the comics. But Kyle Baker makes me want to see it.

I collect spores, molds and fungus

2009-01-12T19:24:00.005-06:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah shut up. I've been sick. Being sick makes me depressed. Being depressed makes it hard to write anything not required by my Journalism Overlords. We have a keymaster and a gatekeeper at work too.

Anyway, Ghostbusters seems to be making the rounds so I thought i would talk about it.

At work lately, there seems to be a lot of people screaming, "Don't cross the streams."

and
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

and

She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers... *four feet* above her covers.

That last one is just me but you get the idea.

I keep seeing GB references online too. Weird. You'd think there was a DVD out recently.

OK, This flick is a classic and was made back when Bill Murray was funny. Believe it or not once upon a time Bill Murray was not the sad guy in every flick. Instead, he was witty. Lots of movie comedians think they're witty. They are not, they are talky. You know who you are. Talk less and be funny more.

Alright, that's it. Take me now sub creature.
USELESS IMDB trivia take it away.

Huey Lewis and the News turned down an offer to write and record a theme song for Ghostbusters. They later sued Ray Parker Jr. for plagiarism, citing the similarities between his theme song and their earlier hit "I Want a New Drug.

Sometimes you got to get mean

2009-01-06T09:09:00.001-06:00

Somtimes you just got to get mean.

Now remember, things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.

It gives me a chuckle

2009-01-05T15:40:00.004-06:00

Breaking Bad - The Complete First Season

I'm watching Breaking Bad right now. The wife is laughing at me. What is it with you and drug shows?

Well she's got a point. I mean I watch Weeds, Dexter, The Shield and The Sopranos, and well anything else where the main character does VERY BAD THINGS. Drug shows. Who knew that American television would see a rush to these kinds of entertainments. I think it says something about this decade that our heroes are all criminals.

This is the dark time. Which makes me wonder what Hollywood will cook up in the Obama era.

Anywho, Breaking Bad is fairly good. Although they jump around in time for no apparent reason. Everybody wants to be Tarantino. You know, I want to be Tarantino. But sometimes the most Tarantino thing you can do is tell your story.

Lost comes back

2009-01-05T08:00:00.000-06:00

Lost O Rama

Lost comes back this month. I'm not sure I care about any of the characters except for Desmond and Penny. I think they killed all the wrong people.
Eko and Charlie? FAIL.
Plus I'm just tired of the questions with no answers. Everyone is glowingly cryptic all the time. Just say what you mean. You know.
The show has it's moments though, starting with the first Locke episode. Too bad they turned Locke into complete moron. Each season he does something to earn the Homer Simpson award.
Jack isn't much better. Look at me I have daddy issues and I drive the women away. But you know at least this show tries. Which is more than can be said of 90 percent of the other junk out there.
So yes, even though I whine, I'll watch every episode this season. Just like you.

I leave you with the best moment of the show ever. Too bad it wasn't on the show.

12 Ordinary Men

2009-01-04T10:20:00.004-06:00

What was it like to eat dinner with God? Or to listen to him teach? Or to let him instruct you on prayer? 12 Ordinary Men explores the lives of the disciples in a fresh way.
Too often, the people in the bible become superheroes, magical creatures who do what is right with God's help. But authors like John MacArthur show us that they were real people who had real struggles and that they weren't much different from us today.
We always give the disciples grief for having so little faith. But if a man came to you today and said that he was the bread of life would you believe him. And if you didn't believe him at first when would you start? When he turned water into wine? When he fed the multitudes? When he calmed the seas? When he raised the dead?
In truth, it took the resurrection to change their lives. The resurrection is changing lives still.

Twelve Ordinary Men: How the Master Shaped His Disciples for Greatness, and What He Wants to Do with You

Twelve Extraordinary Women: How God Shaped Women of the Bible, and What He Wants to Do with You

Matlock

2009-01-03T09:00:00.001-06:00

Me: You know I went to court and that defense attorney did not act like Matlock. I am amazed how defense attorneys never do what Matlock did. The dude never lost.

Coworker: Yeah, I remember thinking the same thing the last time I went to court. According to Matlock you did not actually defend your client all you did was investigate cases.

Me: exactly

Coworker: In real life that wouldn't work out all you would find out was that your client was guilty.

Me: Matlock freed some guilty people. There were at least two very special episodes.

Coworker: I'm sure that's a guilt he lived with forever.

Me: yeah.

You guys got the best part of this conversation. Before this we were talking about how car chases in real life should be more like the car chases on the A-Team.

The New Year

2009-01-02T08:21:00.002-06:00

2008 sucked. Onward and upward.

Resolutions:

To lose 50 pounds

To pay off the credit cards and save $5,000.

To finish the script and the book.

To start the comic book company.

In the last year I have had some successes. I finished a script for Burn Notice and sent it off to the Walt Disney fellowship. I got rejected but felt great because I had finished something. The script is still here and is what J Michael Staczinski calls an evergreen. Meaning, while it is of little use to me now it may be useful in the future.

I paid off some of my debt. We've got three big debts and some smaller ones. We're paying on one regularly and two others when we can. We have a small emergency account that needs to grow. This is the one area of my life that I really care about the most. I read this blog http://getrichslowly.org/blog/, a lot. I don't know if it helps, but at least it gives me ideas now and then.

The Comic Book Company: It's been a dream since I was a child. I have several comic scripts written. The problem is artists seem to want to be paid for their work. Imagine that. Anyway, if the finances get straightened out completely then I will take a hard look at hiring an artist.

The movie script is in decent shape but still needs work. The novel has 10,000 words. Now I only need 70,000 more.

How about you? Any plans for 2009?

There are lots of things, yes, on the Internets

2008-12-31T17:42:00.001-06:00

At the newsroom the other day we got a press release from this guy. He has a book and a blog all about how to protect yourself from a dog attack. Apparently, postal workers who learn these methods have nothing more to fear.

http://www.fearnodog.blogspot.com/

Here are some highlights:

As seen in the above photo, Coach Melvin uses one of his numerous techniques---the edge of a heavy book quickly and continuously jabbed at the nose & mouth---to thwart a vicious dog attack.

Master Phil G. Ross, 7th Degree Black Belt Master Instructor
"I slammed the dog's head into a nearby wall and pinned him there until the owner arrived."

Professor Carl Totton, Taoist Institute
"... I front snap-kicked the dog... "

In case you are wondering I have never front snap-kicked a dog. I prefer the Cesar Milan method. Ssst. Ssst.

Roger Ebert

2008-12-31T10:11:00.002-06:00

Ebert is an American Institution. I don't always agree but I am always amused.

Here's his take on Rush Hour 3

If you are trapped in a rainstorm in front of a theater playing this picture, by all means go right in. You won't have a bad time, will feel affectionate toward Lee and Carter, and stay dry.

There's a zen like quality to that that I love. But my favorite review the man has ever written was about The Country Bears.

Here is a story about a young music fan who persuades his favorite band to reunite after 10 years for a concert--and the fan and the band members are all bears. Why they are bears, I do not know. Do they know they are bears? Not necessarily. Do any of the humans mention that they are bears? Only in passing. Are there real bears in the woods who would maul and eat their victims, or are all bears benign in this world? These are not questions one is expected to pose about a movie based on a stage show at Disney World. We simply have to accept that some of the characters in the movie are people and others are bears, and get on with it. If Stuart Little's family can have a 2-inch mouse as a son, then why not musical bears? We must celebrate diversity.

All of Ebert's reviews are free on his Web site www.rogerebert.com And you can go back 20 or thirty years and read the old ones about great and not so great flicks. People complain that Ebert is too kind to trashy movies. I just think he's mellowed and he understands that when he doesn't understand something it is probably meant for a different audience.

Here's his take on Scooby-Doo

I am not the person to review this movie. I have never seen the "Scooby-Doo" television program, and on the basis of the film I have no desire to start now.

And then this

I am unable to generate the slightest interest in the plot, and I laughed not a single time, although I smiled more than once at the animated Scooby-Doo himself, an island of amusement in a wasteland of fecklessness.

Mad Men

2008-12-29T13:00:00.003-06:00

It's so hard to be rich and successful. I wouldn't know from experience but thankfully we have Mad Men. The show is about a group of young advertising executives in the 1960s. Don Draper is rich and powerful he has an ex-model for a wife, two kids, a big house, a dog, several mistresses, an endless supply of booze and everything else that goes along with the American Dream.
The problem, of course, is that Don knows the American Dream is a lie, he helps create the lie every day at work.
If you ever wanted to watch a show about the ennui that sits at the heart of America, well, here it is.
This show is great and wonderfully boring. I know your thinking how can it be great and boring at the same time well in every episode, nothing much happens. I mean, think about it, he's an ad exec in New York. They're not exactly tracking down criminals in every episode, saving sick people in a buzzing emergency room or representing the downtrodden in court.
But boring equals great. Because instead of standard plot each episode delves a little deeper into the emotional lives of the characters. It's a show about the lives we tell ourselves and how we rationalize away decency and goodness in favor of a bigger car or a larger salary.
You can have it all kids, the trick is living with yourself when you get it.

Mad Men Store

The end of the year in links

2008-12-27T13:42:00.006-06:00

Thank God this year is almost over.

Wired has the top crimes of 2008.

In September, a robber disguised as a gardener pepper-sprayed an armored car driver using a pesticide sprayer and ran off with a bag stuffed with $400,000 in cash. When police arrived seconds later, they found the sidewalk crowded with dozens of men decked out in the same attire as the perp: blue shirt, Day-Glo vest, safety mask and glasses. While the cops hacked through a forest of suspects, the real perp fled to a nearby creek and escaped in a waiting inner tube.

Hey Political Junky Feast

Steve Jobs is loved by his employees.

George W. Bush on the other hand ...

The Most Anticipated movies of 2009. I still haven't seen this year's Coen Brothers.

Speaking of movies, Harry Knowles is Mr. Sensitive.

I used to get upset because Wizard Magazine always had Wolverine on the cover. But Time has them beat with Obamamania.

Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus and a $99 iPhone.

And Finally, the most important thing on the Internets this week ...
Babylon 5 music videos

Oh Yeah, 2009 is looking much much better now.

Sean Penned

2008-12-27T11:49:00.005-06:00

Vacation 2 Brady 0. Every time I go on vacation I get sick. Well, every time lately. The wife also gets sick. I think vacation has it in for me. Anyway, for Christmas I got a bunch of DVDs from my mother-in-law. She got them from the $2 bin at Wal-Mart.

lets start with the Sean Penns.
We got Mystic River and the Interpreter. I had seen both before, no wait, I have only seen parts of the Interpreter because it is so horrible and I keep zoning out. Mystic River on the other hand is greatness. Sean Penn is excellent in Mystic River, there is a solid supporting cast and Clint Eastwood directs.
The Interpreter, not so much.
Mystic River is a great crime story about South Boston that includes wonderful lines like when Kevin Bacon, the homicide detective, wonders how he's going to explain to his old buddy, the gangster, that his daughter has been murdered.
"God said you owed another marker, and he came to collect.''
The Interpreter, not so much.

Useless IMDB trivia for Mystic River: Dennis Lehane, author of the novel "Mystic River", can be seen waving from the back of a convertible in the parade sequence.

I Just Bought a batch of comics

2008-12-26T14:47:00.002-06:00

With some of my Christmas money. The Wife's gonna be mad when she finds out how much I spent. But till then we can review what we got.

Doktor Sleepless 8, 9 This book finally has a decent payoff. Ellis has said he's doing a long form novel but till now it felt like useless meandering in need of a point. Issue 8 gives us a point. An incredibly depressing and anti-life affirming point but still, it's a point. Issue 9 sets us off in another direction. I'm still buying this but my patience grows ... thin.

Astonishing X-Men Ghost Boxes 1 and 2. I don't know if any of you have read Ruins. It was essentially, Warren Ellis, making Very Bad Things happen to the Marvel heroes. It was gallows humor and very, very British. Essentially in the ruins world radiation did not turn people into super heroes. Instead, it acted like radiation and you know killed or mutated people horribly. The Ghost Boxes acts as a sequel to Ruins only with the X-Men. Ellis loves alternate universes, probably cause he can make Very Bad Things happen to all those characters you love.

Usagi Yojimbo 115 116, every issue of Usagi Yojimbo is an instant classic and if you are not buying this book you suck. Ummmm that is all.

Ex Machina 40, The writer and artist of ExMachina put themselves in the comic. Also, there are Dracula Werebears. Dracula Werebears people! Again this is must reading.

Punisher 62- 65 After finishing this story you come to the shocking realization that you have spent $12 for a Jigsaw story and Jigsaw didn't show up till the last issue. Also, it sucked. Hard.

Tomorrow, is Sean Penn day. See you then.

Merry Festivus

2008-12-23T07:27:00.000-06:00

You may begin airing grievances with this blog, now.

Rick Bragg

2008-12-22T19:53:00.002-06:00

Rick Bragg writes about a South I've never seen. Or maybe that's not true, I saw it once, as a child, but it went by so quickly that it exists only in autumn fragments.

Ricky writes about knife fights, screaming muscle cars and whiskey. About fathers who tried to do right but failed and mothers so saintly that their heavenly halos must be made of the finest gold and encrusted with diamonds.
Which is to say that his stories are a little flowery. But they are damn fine and they are true. Every time I read one of his books it's like listening to my father tell stories. Or my grandmother or just about any person I know with a Southern accent and an honest heart.

My mother and my grandmother met Bragg several years ago. I was a cub reporter in the midst of one of the hardest times of my life. I was about to get fired. Later, my mother would tell me about how stressed out I was and what a difference it was when I left that place and went to the closest thing I have ever found to a sane newsroom.
I don't know what was said but my mother must have told him where I was and how I was struggling. She asked him to sign three books for me.

My copy of the dedication page of All Over but the Shoutin' reads this way: To my momma and my brothers. And to Brady, From one writer to another. It gets easier.

Ricky, thanks man. It absolutely did get easier.

Bragg Books

Shhhh

2008-12-21T14:35:00.002-06:00

We've been working hard and now we're resting.

And Lo there shall come a birthday

2008-12-20T16:29:00.003-06:00

Today I am thirty. My gift to you, Links of Interest.

Leverage, is the best new show in TeeVee. Here, show creator John Rogers takes you behind the con.

Look, a funny comic about Warren Ellis.

Look, another funny comic about Warren Ellis.

Don't Look, Warren Ellis.

Yay, Free money.

Boo, free money.

Sean Hannity lies a lot. No, really.

The Music Cartels start to wise up.

Not.

And finally, the most important thing on the Internet's this week. Umm, I just told you, I'm 30. Well, that and I once met Hulk Hogan.

Don't Do Business With ...

2008-12-18T19:02:00.004-06:00

This may become a regular feature.

In this edition of Don't Do Business With ... I want to tell you about an insurance company called Gainesco. I was driving on Business 98 in October when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a truck zooming right for me.

"That guy is going to hit me," I said to myself. A few seconds later he did, hard. He knocked me into another car. No one was hurt but I had about $4,000 worth of damage. Unfortunetly he had Gainsco. They didn't pay. They said he was late on a payment. I asked when they canceled his insurance. They refused to answer any more questions.

In short, this company owes me $4,000. I know I'll never see it but please feel free to share this story with your friends and link to this page if you can. The only way to get back at companies like this is to tell as many people as you know not to do business with them. Some other day I'll have to tell you about Tyndall Federal Credit Union. Sweet heavens don't give them any of your money.

Homicide

2008-12-17T20:50:00.004-06:00

Pulling one hand from the warmth of a pocket, Jay Landsman squats down to grab the dead man's chin, pushing the head to one side until the wound becomes visible as a small, ovate hole, oozing red and white. "Here's your problem," he said. "He's got a slow leak."

Every other year I reread Homicide: A year on the killing streets by David Simon. It's more than 600 pages of behind the scenes cop greatness. Like the title suggests Simon, a reporter with the Baltimore Sun, spent a year with the murder police in his city. He reports back on the bureaucracy, idiot suspects and crazy cops who sweep up the bodies and try to catch killers.
There are no white knights, no people seeking vengeance and precious few of them who are even concerned with justice. But what these detectives are, are people who ferociously love their work and take pride in what they do ... well, most of the time.

The book inspired two television shows, Homicide and The Wire. Homicide took stories and the real characters from the book and was one of the best cop shows Evah. The Wire was something more and we'll talk about it some other time.

I'm watching season 7 of Homicide now. I've seen the other seasons but always washed out before season 7.
Know why? Cause Andre Braugher left the show. Andre Braugher played Frank Pembleton, the hard headed, arrogant investigators who was the Beethoven of interrogations. Pembleton rocked, until they gave him a stroke. Then he recovered and finally he left. He came back for the reunion movie though.

I leave you with some Pembleton goodness.

Pembleton: You're not Catholic and you took communion?
Bayliss: Yeah. Is that wrong?
Pembleton: If my God wins, you're screwed.

Homicide The Complete Series Seasons 1-7 DVD SET
Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets
The Wire: The Complete Series

Some Reviews

2008-12-16T18:41:00.003-06:00

Here are some random comics sitting around the house

New Universal Conquerer makes absolutely no sense. Please, please comic writer and artist type people when you convince Marvel Comics to let you write and draw a comic you must also stipulate that the comic make sense. Umm there's a big guy with a sword, a corrupt wizard and a victim. I don't know that I could explain any more than that. And believe it or not, I get paid to explain things.

Jonah Hex 38 - Jonah Hex is a great property, I mean sure it is essentially an amalgam of Clint Eastwood stereotypes but hey those old Clint western's rule. In this issue Jonah settles a family dispute, with, you know, rattlesnakes. It rocks.
I do kind of miss the old Tim Truman / Joe Landsdale collaboration. The mixed in horror elements. The latest series has ignored all of that in favor of straight ahead westerns. But, in each issue you get a complete story. Wonderfulness.

RASL 3: This book doesn't make any sense either. But Jeff Smith draws purty and I am convinced that one day it will all make sense. Issue two had an amazing ending. Except, that I sold issue 1 and 2 to some guy in India so I can't find the quote I'm looking for. Anyway, it's about a thief who can jump between realities. Bob Dylan seems to be involved in some way. Come on, you know that is most excellent.

That is all.

Three Good Songs

2008-12-15T20:26:00.005-06:00

My cousin reviewed the new Guns an Roses album thusly, "It doesn't sound like Guns and Roses."
He hated it but he's wrong. The new GNR album is exactly like all the other GNR albums. They don't sound alike of course, the first album, Appetite for Destruction is a mean heavy metal album. The next two, Use Your Illusion 1 and Use Your Illusion 2 were hard rock records that added some 70s balladry to the mix. The latest, Chinese Democracy, is a hodge podge of different styles and eras.
While they may all sound diffrent they are all exactly the same. Why? Because they all have exactly three good songs.

Appetite had Paradise City, Sweet Child of Mine and Welcome to the Jungle. Personally, I never need to hear Sweet Child or Welcome to the Jungle again but Paradise City hits the spot every time. You can make a case for Rocket Queen or My Michelle I suppose but, if you are honest with yourself you would have to agree that those two tunes are just good filler. Plus, the story behind Rocket Queen ewww.

Use Your Illusion 1: Live and Let Die, Don't Cry and November Rain. See how easy this is.

Use Your Illusion 2: Civil War, 14 Years, and Yesterdays. Knockin on Heavens Door may be the exception that proves the rule.

Chinese Democracy: Better, Street of Dreams, If the World. These three make up the early middle of the album. Just turn it off after If The World. I promise you won't miss anything.

Appetite for Destruction [Vinyl]

Use Your Illusion II

Use Your Illusion I

Chinese Democracy (180 Gram Vinyl, with Bonus MP3 Download of Entire Album)

Fear the Rat Dog

2008-12-15T08:36:00.000-06:00

Fear The Rat Dog. I don't feel like writing anything today. This will have to do.

Mere Christianity

2008-12-14T06:32:00.000-06:00

C.S. Lewis was a man of great faith but he never left reason behind. To Lewis being a Christian was the most reasonable choice a person could make. He argued, unashamed, all of his life that the answers people were searching for could be found in the bible.
Mere Christianity is his masterpiece, an orderly discussion about God and human nature and reasons why the universe is the way it is.
Lewis was a professor at Oxford, a Christian apologist and a fantasy writer. I am often reminded of him, and this book, when an atheist or agnostic argues that the bible is a collection of fairy tales.
I am reminded of him again when faithful Christians argue against science that they claim contradicts The Word.

Mere Christianity

The Internet and you

2008-12-13T06:04:00.000-06:00

Each Saturday we compile the best of the internet. Fear not the list, fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

Clint Eastwood plays a racist. Everybody loves it.

No Steve Jobs at MacWorld? That is unpossible.

Advice for unemployed journalists. I'm not unemployed yet but ...

Cheap gifts for this Christmas. I still want Vader toast.

This guy wins for most posts in a single day by a single blogger.

Apparently, I need stratergy.

Your friends at Fox News can barely contain themselves.

Michael Moore says Washington sold out the working class to the rich by not bailing out Detroit. Ummm, isn't that what democracy is all about?

And The Most Important Thing on the Internets this week: Media Matters chronicles the worst people in the world this year. Michael Savage makes the list four times. I am shocked. Shocked I tell you.

Fast Fiction Friday II

2008-12-12T08:18:00.000-06:00

This is a comic script. If you are a comic artist and feel like working for free please drop me a line brady122078@hotmail.com. If you hate it, well, shut up.

Zeus, done in oil, on black clouds and surrounded by lightning

Page 1 Panel 1
A thin redhead girl is lying in bed. She's got a slight case of bed head and a big smile. She's watching her lover get dressed.
VO
Foolish girl. What was I thinking.
Page 1 Panel 2
The lover, a man in his late 30s with Reed Richard's temples and Bruce Wayne's build. He's clearly aristocratic and little vain. He's wearing black pants and a black suit jacket over a blue buttonless shirt. No tie.

Page 2
Panel 1
Our redhead is in a bookstore looking at Robert Graves Greek mythology.
VO
Was it the book?
Panel 2
(Reed Richards)
Studying for a test?
REDHEAD
Huh? (then she realizes he's cute)
Umm hello.
Panel 3
(Reed)
I'm sorry dear. No one ever picks up Graves, unless they're taking something strange down at the community college.
REDHEAD
Nothing strange. I just like the stories.
Panel 4
(REED)
Right, well I recommend Graves' I Claudius. Claudius was a bit duller than Graves' interpretation but all those Roman betrayals make for a good bedtime story.
REDHEAD
I Claudius was excellent are you watching Rome on HBO?
(REED)
I'm sorry. Is that a television show?
Panel 5 and 6
REDHEAD
So, he doesn't know everything.
(She tucks her hair behind her ear)
Do you know where a girl can get a good cup of coffee at this hour?
(REED)
Certainly. Right this way.
Panel 7
Black with just a voice over.
I'm Denise
Yes you are. I am Seth.

Page 3

Panel 1 (black panel)
Voice Over Denise
Come on girl. The coffee wasn't that good.
Panel 2
Seth turns to face Denise. He looks slightly sinister.
Seth
Now then, my dear
Panel 3 and 4
He moves quickly towards her so that his face is close to hers.
Seth
Breakfast will be pancakes, sausage, toast and apples juice.
Denise
I don't have anything, umm morningish to wear.
Panel 5
SETH
I think you invented a new word.
I have some shirts and boxers in the dresser here that might meet with your approval.

PAGE 4
Panel 1
Denise stands up and gets dressed.
The hardwood floor is nice and cold.
VO
Come on girl, get it together.
Panel 2
Denise walks over to the window and looks outside.
Panel 3
Cut to outside We're at an isolated farmhouse covered in snow. There is a barn in the distance and two cars parked at the door.
Panel 4
Denise runs her finger in a circle along the frosted window pane creating an impression.
Panel 5
Denise squiqqles her fingers in the circle.
Panel 6
From outside looking in we see that Denise has created a star inside a circle. Maybe less points or more points than a pentagram. Denise is walking away from the window.

PAGE 5
Panel 1 - 3 As we (and Denise) walk through the farmhouse we notice than SETH is quite Spartan. There are few nick knacks, no pictures, or signs of novelty. There are quite a few books scattered and placed in odd corners.
SETH is cooking
Panel 4
DENISE
Link sausage or, you know, patty?
Panel 5
SETH
Nevermind the sausage girl. Have some of this apple juice. It's the pride of this state and the apple juice of the Gods.
DENISE
I think you might have oversold it.
Panel 6
Denise takes a long gulp.
DENISE
Damnnnnn.

Page 6
Seth and Denise are eating
SETH
So what do you think of the place?
DENISE
It's gorgeous.
Panel 2
SETH
It's warm in the winter. The summer's infernal though so I usually skip out to the mountains or well, whichever city I haven't been to in a while.
Panel 3
DENISE
That seems like a lot of travel for a carpenter.
SETH
Well my parents were very secure and they died when I was young and that left me very secure.
Panel 4
DENISE
And by secure you mean rich?
SETH
Filthy.
DENISE
Well, there are worse things to be I suppose.
Panel 5
SETH
And how about you? Do you travel much?
DENISE
Oh, sometimes when they are displaying my work somewhere. Mostly though I stay home. I like places but I don't much care for most people.
SETH
Well, who does.

PAGE 7
DENISE
Lately, thought I haven't painted much. I've been uninspired. That's why I was looking at that book on the Greek gods. I was hoping for a motivator.
SETH
Humans, should never paint the God's. It's disrespectful.
The Muslims, the Jews and most sensible Christians think it's a bad idea to try to create a painting or a totem to represent their God. Too often those symbols become the focus of the worship instead of the god himself.
Panel 2
Denise is making a point with her fork.
DENISE
Sure, but those guys worship God with a capital Go. I'm talking about the Greek Gods. The ones no one pays attention too anymore.
Panel 3
Seth (slightly perturbed)
Always be careful of the God's behind you, they may be ready to strike. You don't want to end up in the cyclops den with Ulysses.
DENISE
Well, if I have to go better to be with Ulysses than anyone else. At least he knows the way out.
Panel 4
Seth laughs
Panel 5
Seth
Good show.

Page 8
Panel 1
DENISE
So.
SETH
So.
DENISE
We need to talk.
SETH
I thought we were.
Panel 2
DENISE
No, I mean about this. I don't do this. I'm not this kind of girl.
SETH
You don't eat breakfast
DENISE
You know what I mean
Panel 3
SETH
Yes, I'm afraid I do.
DENISE
Listen, never mind I was wrong. Let's not talk. Forget it. Let's not do the thing.
SETH
We already did several things, which one thing did you have in mind that we not do.
Panel 4
DENISE
The thing where you say you'll call and you never do and I say I'll see you around but I won't because we'll both do our best to avoid one another.
SETH
You've got this all thought through haven't you?
Panel 5
SETH (leans into her space)
Denise Tribune you can share my bed, my house and my life until the day the sun grows cold and the stars float back to heaven.
Panel 6
They kiss

PAGE 9
SETH
But first come and meet the family. Rex, Eleanor, breakfast.
Panel 2
Two large brown mutts come racing into the house sliding across the kitchen tile.
Panel 3
SETH raises his right hand into a fist and the dogs sit obediently at either side of him.
Panel 4
SETH hands Denise a piece of sausage.
SETH
Call Rex, tell him to sit and then feed him the sausage. He'll be as smitten with you as I am.
Panel 5
DENISE
Do you have any other children.
SETH
I've got an old milk cow but she's sick and won't last the winter.

PAGE 10
Panel 1
DENISE
What time is it?
SETH
10:30
Panel 2
Denise
I've got to go I told my friend Marla I'd meet her for lunch in town.
SETH
I hope that isn't something people say.
Denise
No, no I, I'm coming back Seth, you couldn't keep me away. But I really have to go shower and change.
Panel 3
SETH
Feed Eleanor too so she won't get jealous please.

PAGE 11
Full Page while Denise is showering, hey this is still a PG-13 rated comic get your mind out of the gutter and cover the naughty bits with steam, Seth is downstairs standing up and reading.
In cursive we'll have this:
Hera, vexed by Heracles excesses, drove him mad. He first attacked his beloved nephew Iolaus, Iphicles's eldest son, who managed to escape his wild lunges; and then, mistaking six of his own children for enemies, shot them down, and flung their bodies into a fire.

Page 12
Two panels
Seth and Denise embrace again outside of the house in front of her little hippie Volkswagen.
Panel 2
Seth stands and watches her drive off into the distance

In cursive we'll have this: When Heracles recovered his sanity, he shut himself up in a dark chamber for some days, avoiding all human intercourse and then, after purification by King Thespius, went to Delphi, to inquire what he should do.

Page 13
Panel 1
Marla watches as Denise walks into the restaurant. It's one of those girl power places with lots of art, sculpture and small sandwiches.
MARLA (is a witch, and a granddaughter of the 60's. Make her look modern though with rainbow sunglasses.)
You've had sex.
DENISE
say it a little louder.
PANEL 2
MARLA
Oh the muggles can't hear us. Your aura is just radiant.
DENISE
I can't believe you got it that quick.
PANEL 3
MARLA
Honey, I'm a witch. I don't question the god's about my gifts and neither should you.
So what's he like.
DENISE
He's a one night stand. That's it.
PANEL 4
MARLA
Oh come on, Denisikins, you don't have one night stands. I wish you did, you'd be a whole lot healthier and more satisfied but that ain't you. I bet you've got the wedding colors all picked out.
DENISE
Stop it.
Panel 5
MARLA looks sullen
Panel 6
Denise
He's a carpenter. He's kind of dry, and charming in that stuffy English manner.
Panel 7
SETH back at the barn standing in front of the large bay doors in front of the barn.

Page 14
Panel 1
MARLA
And.
DENISE
And he's amazing in bed.
MARLA
Woof.
Panel 2
DENISE
I mean ... I mean ... my god.
MARLA
double woof. does he have a brother.
Panel 3
DENISE
Well we never got around to the family questions. He has a farm out in the sticks.
MARLA
Honey, did you sleep with a Cletus?
Panel 4
Denise
No. He's so sophisticated. So well read and educated.
MARLA
What does he do?
Panel 5
Denise
He's a carpenter.
Panel 6
SETH opens the barn door.
Panel 7
Seth walks into the barn. The walls are covered in ancient symbols, and talismans. The most prominent symbol is the same one Denise drew on the window pane earlier.

Page 15
Panel 1
Marla
So, what do you think? Is he it.
Denise
I don't know.
Panel 2
Marla
Yes you do. Women always know.
Denise
It's too soon.
Panel 3
Marla
Honey you ain't getting any more divorced. It's time to jump back into something exciting.
Denise
Maybe
Panel 4
Marla
I'm sure about it. You'll see what I mean.
Panel 5-7
SETH takes off his shirt, and jacket but still has on his black pants. He walks his bull to the middle of the barn and pulls out a bone handle knife

Page 16
Panel 1
Marla
What we need to do is consult the cards.
Denise
Quit it.
Panel 2
Marla
No the cards tend to prove these things out
Marla reaches into her purse
Panel 3
Marla
I always carry some for just such an occasion
Panel 4
Seth closes his eyes and folds his hands in meditation around the knife.
Panel 5
Seth slashes the bull throat.
Panel 6
The bull falls
Panel 7
Seth kneels before the bull.

Page 17
Panel 1
Marla slaps a card down on the table
Panel 2
The card is of The Emperor.
MARLA
This represents a strong powerful man. A loving father and a natural ruler.
Honey, the cards said you've done well.
Panel 3-7
SETH paints that circle star symbol (oh lets just call it a pentagram and be done) on his chest with blood. He makes an X in blood on his forehead and another X on the undersides of both of his wrists.

Page 18
Panel 1
Just the Card it's the high priestess.
VO MARLA
See, the cards say you should trust me and go with it. This guy is the one for you.
Panel 2-7
Seth prays over his slaughtered bull
SETH
Persephone, crocus in the snow, light and life of somber Hades' realm.
In the devotion of a mother and child, in welcoming sorrow, in comforting grief,
in joy awakened, in sweet homecoming, in these we know you, child of Demeter.
Persephone, queen of the underworld, Grace be upon thee
I ask a boon, beautiful one, a boon not for me but for my child which now grows in a mortal woman
May he be both strong and cunning quick and deadly
this is a harsh world, the gods have made dear Persephone
and may my son be unyielding to the scourges the surround him
may he bring quick death to the enemies that lie both above and below
Page 19
The final card full page is death
VO
DENISE
That doesn't look good.
MARLA
No, not it's not death it's change. It could be wonderful change or
DENISE
Or what?
MARLA
Or could be heartbreaking change. We'll just have to wait and see.