Don't read this post if you haven't seen the new Star Trek.
OK
So, now my head is exploded. First of all, The new Star Trek movie exists in an alternate reality where time travel messed everything up. That means a couple of things.
First, the original series, the one with William Shatner in it still exists, all the movies still exists but they are in a completely separate universe. But, and this is a big but NOW, there is a completely different STAR TREK universe. In this new universe the phasers look more like guns, no one ever preaches to you about the meaning of the story or the lesson humanity needs to learn, SULU is an amazing swordsman and Chekov can't speak English.
Also, for some reason everybody needs sunglasses while on the bridge of the Enterprise because there are giant, bright lights everywhere.
The onion described it this way: Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as 'Fun, Watchable.'
Yeah, that about covered it.
Rogers called it ULTIMATE STAR TREK and that is as good a designation as any.
I loved it but my eyes melted at one point thinking about time travel.
As I was watching the movie I kept waiting for the moment where everything would return to normal. Where the crew would somehow change time so that the universe went back to Shatner land.
And that moment never happened.
HOLY CRAP, JJ ABRAMS just killed Star Trek.
This is exactly what John Byrne did to Superman in the 80's when he recreated him. All of sudden Superman was depowered and the superpets never existed. The world needs Beppo, the Supermonkey guys. It's important.
But what happens to Picard now? Is Picard never born?? Can this at least mean that Tasha Yar is never born because she sucks.
And all of DS9, Voyager and Enterprise can disappear too. DS9 especially because it's a crummy rip off of Babylon 5.
OK, that's enough for now.
Final Analysis: Great Movie, go see it now. But later you'll be a little depressed that there wasn't a comment on the current state of humanity. Without that it's not Star Trek, It's Star Wars without the force.
Tomorrow: why the Star Trek movie must be the remnants of someone's screenplay for Top Gun 2.
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1 comment:
Dude. I loved this movie, even the plot holes big enough to fly a big ol' honking spaceship through. Loved all the shout-outs to earlier Treks. Loved the way these actors embodied the original crew in their youth that could have been. Awesome beauty shots of the ship in action. Clever jokey stuff. Bad ass brutal fights. Even got choked up when Kirk Jr. asks Senior Citizen Spock why he's doing this, and Spock looks at him like isn't it obvious, and says that line about having always been his friend. (Choke.) Gets me every time. Never mind how Kirk's escape pod just happened to crash near Spock's cave. On an ice planet. Where Scotty is also marooned. Whatever. Stop thinking about it and just ride the wave. Loved this stupid movie.
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